And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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