I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
