I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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