I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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