We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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