Whats the count minus fat chicks?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
