I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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