Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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