It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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