There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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