It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you didnt know i had herpes?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
