Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
