Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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