your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
This is classic penis vs brain.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
