Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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