One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
