last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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