He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
