That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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