ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
