If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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