Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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