Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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