that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
