I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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