If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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