you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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