If i come over, it means nothing
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
