the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Dicks are not precious.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
