wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I believe in your delicious
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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