there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
