No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
