just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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