Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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