There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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