She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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