I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
