Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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