I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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