that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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