I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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