i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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