Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
