if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
