Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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