...so i touched it.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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