i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
