Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
