your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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