Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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